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Pater Familias

I tried that fists-with-your-toes technique, and there's only one thing to say -- Kids, don't try this at home! Both of my feet are severely cramped. All ten toes are curled under. The doctors say it might be permanent. I can't walk a straight line, and I've already fallen down a grand total of 13 stairwells. My family is ashamed, and I'm due in court next week to fight off this bogus DUI charge. My attorney will be contacting yours, Max.

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